Now they make new movies in old black and white
MI7 LA7With happy endings, where nobody fights
RE FA#7 SI7So if you find yourself in that nostalgic rage
Honey, jump right up and show your age
I wish I had a pencil thin mustache
The "Boston Blackie" kind
RE FA#7 SI7A two toned Ricky Ricardo jacket
MI7 LA7And an autographed picture of Andy Devine
RE RE7
Oh I remember bein' buck-toothed and skinny
Writin' fan letters to Sky's niece Penny
RE FA#7 SI7Oh I wish I had a pencil thin mustache
MI7 LA7 REThen I could solve some mysteries too
Bridge:
MIm SI7 MIm SI7Oh it's Bandstand, Disneyland, growin' up fast
MIm SI7 MImDrinkin' on a fake I.D.
And Rama of the jungle was everyone's Bawana
MI7 LA7But only jazz musicians were smokin' marijuana
RE FA#7 SI7Yeah, I wish I had a pencil thin mustache
then I could solve some mysteries too
(same as above chords with this verse)
But then it's flat top, dirty bob, coppin' a feel
Grubbin' on the livin' room floor (so sore)
Yeah, they send you off to college, try to gain a little knowledge,
But all you want to do is learn how to score
Yeah, but now I'm gettin' old, don't wear underwear
MI7 LA7I don't go to church and I don't cut my hair
RE FA#7 SI7But I can go to movies and see it all there
Just the way that it used to be
That's why I wish I had a pencil thin mustache
The "Boston Blackie" kind, a two-toned Ricky Ricardo jacket
And an autographed picture of Andy Devine
Oh, I could be anyone I wanted to be
Maybe suave Errol Flynn or a Sheik of Arabie
If I only had a pencil thin mustache
Then I could do some cruisin' too
Yeah, Bryl-cream, a little dab'll do yah
MI7 LA7 REOh, I could do some cruisin' too
Chord diagrams: E7 - |o2o1oo| A7 - |xo2o2o|
B7 - |x212o2| F#7- |xx432o|
F#m - |244222| Bb - |113331| C7 - |x3231o|
Note: play in G, capo 2nd fret
SOL DOHeadin' up to San Francisco
For the Labor Day week-end show,
DOI've got my hush-puppies on I guess I
RE SOLNever was meant for glitter rock and roll
And, honey, I didn't know, that I'd be missin' you so
Come Monday it'll be all right
Come Monday I'll be holdin' you tight
SOL SIm DO REI spent four lonely days in a brown L. A. haze
DO RE SOLAnd I just want you back by my side
Yes, it's been quite a summer
Rent-a-cars and west-bound trains
And now you're off on vacation
Somethin' you tried to explain
And darlin', it's I love you so
That's the reason I just let you go
(Repeat chorus)
Bridge:
LAmaj7 REmaj7 LAmaj7 REmaj7I can't help it honey, you're that much a part of me now
LAmaj7 REmaj7Remember that night in Montana
when we said there'd be no room for doubt
I hope you're enjoyin' the scen'ry
I know that it's pretty up there
We can go hikin' on Tuesday
With you I'd walk anywhere
California has worn me quite thin
I just can't wait to see you again
(Repeat chorus)
SOL SIm DO REI spent four lonely days in a brown L. A. haze
DO RE FA DO SOLAnd I just want you back by my side...
Chord diagrams: Amaj7=|x02120| Dmaj7=|xx0222|
Ringling, Ringling slippin' away
Only forty people livin' there today
RE MI7Streets are dusty, and the bank has been torn down
SOL LA7 REIt's a dyin' little town
RE MI7
Church window's broken, that place ain't been used in years
Jail don't have a sheriff or a cell
MI7And electric trains, they run by maybe once or twice a month
SOL LA7 REEasin' it on down to Mussel Shell
(Repeat chorus)
Bridge:
LAAnd across from the bar there's a pile of beer cans
Been there twenty seven years
MI7 LA7Imagine all the heartaches and tears in 27 years of beer
So we hopped back in the rent-a-car and we hit the cruise control
Pretty soon the town was out of sight
But we left behind a fat barmaid, a cowboy and a dog
Bracin' for a Ringling Friday night
Chorus
Ringling, Ringling you're just slippin' away
I wonder how many people will be there a year from today
Cause the streets are dusty and the bank has been torn down
It's a dyin' little town
G A7 D (intro chords)
Yeah, it's a dyin' little town
SOL LAm7 RE SOL LAm7 RE
I'd like to ride the rodeo, but I've got brahma fear
SOL LAm7 RE SOL LAm7 RESo I'll just stick to aeroplanes, gently pop my ears
Drink a lot of whiskey, it gives me such a glow
SOL LAm7 RE LAm RE SOLIt makes me quite immobile, but it lets my feelings show
DO RE SOL
And I'm somewhere below the spotlight
DO RE MImSomewhere below the ground
You dig deep enough you might find me
DO RE SOLFind me and you've found my sound
Yes I own a whaler boat, it slides across the sea
And some folks say I'm part of it
And I know it's part of me
When I'm feeling solitaire, it lets me be alone
And when I want to habitate, it carries me back home
Chorus
And I'm somewhere below the sunlight
Somewhere upon the sea
You dig deep enough, you might find me
Find me, 'cause that's where I'll be
Yes I'll drink a lot of whiskey
It gives me such a glow
It makes me quite immobile, but it lest my feelings show
Yes, it makes me quite immobile,
But it lets my feelings show
Intro SOL RE SOL
DO SOL
Well he outgrew his sequined suit, sold his Trailways bus
Let his hair get a little too long
RE SOL REHis ducktail's bit the dust
DO SOLHis custom made, pearl-inlaid guitar slipped from his hand
And in its place a new electrical one he had flown in from Japan
'Cause he's a cheeseburger eatin', abandoned Sunday meetin'
Brand new country star
LAHe rides around in a Lincoln Continental
RE SOL REThose steer horns on his car
Oh, the record men say he's livin' end
SOLThey're gonna spin him right to the top
LAYeah he's a hot roman candle from the Texas panhandle
He can either go country or pop
Got a good old friend name of Texas Ben,
Tells him all the spots to play
And a sweet little lady, he calls her Sexy Sadie
She's with the boy night and day
They're gonna open up a chain of fancy bowlin' lanes
The first one in his old hometown
And on ribbon-cuttin' day they'll come from miles away
The folks'll all gather 'round and sing
(Repeat chorus)
Intro MI
Nothing is different, nothing's changed at all
MIbm MI SI7 LA MILivingston's gone to Texas, they say he had a ball
Chorus
They say he learned to be a cowboy
LA SOL REThey say he learned to rope and ride
SIm SOL LA7 REBut I wonder if he ever thinks about the tears his woman cried
Now Holly, won't you let me
Try and make you smile
You loved him as if he were your husband
Now he'll be gone awhile
Wrote he had to see the country
On starry nights he wished you were there
And so would show wherever he goes
Deep inside you know he really cares
And nothin' is different, nothin's changed at all
Livingston's still in Texas
Snow's about to fall
Chord diagrams: D#m - |xx4342|
Intro SOL DO SOL SOL DO SOLSOL
The ice cream man he's a hillbilly fan
He's got seventy-eights by Hank Snow
Walks down the street, shufflin' his feet
SOLTo the rhythm that only he knows
SIm DOAnd I've seen him in so many places
I saw him on the night I was born
RE SOLIn a Bourbon Street bar, I received my first scar
RE DO SOLFrom an old man so tattered and torn
Chorus DO
And the wino and I know the pain of street singin'
SOLLike the door-to-door salesman knows the pains of bell ringin'
Strange situation, wild occupation
SOLLivin' my life like a song
The coffee is strong at the Cafe Du Monde
And the donuts are too hot to touch
But just like a fool, when those sweet goodies cool
I eat till I eat way too much
'Cause I'm livin' on things that excite me
Be they pastry or lobster or love
I'm just tryin' to get by being quiet and shy
In a world full of pushin' and shove
And the wino and I know the pain of back bustin'
Like the farmer knows the pain of his pickup truck rustin'
Strange situation, wild occupation
Livin' my life like a song
Sweet sen~orita won't you please come with me
RE DO SOLBack to the island honey, back to the sea
RE DO REBack to the only place that I want to be
Chorus
And the wino and I know the joy of the ocean
Like a boy knows the joy of his milkshake in motion
Strange situation, wild occupation
Livin' my life like a song
Yes it's a strange situation, wild occupation
Livin' my life like a song
Standin' on side of the Highway 4 exit
A Lady in a tie-dye with a bag by her side
DO FA SOL DONot really lookin' like anything special
DO FA SOL DOSaw Tennessee tags and she waved for a ride
Sat right beside me as the 'meter hit sixty
'Splainin' her travels and her family background
When she got through, I could not help but thinkin'
She's a long way from the west Nashville grand ballroom gown
Father had money and her mother had love
Channeled entirely to her dear sister Dove
RE SOLTwenty-two years in society's plan
FA REWas cancelled with a swing of her dear mother's hand
Six hours later, we hit Cincinatti
Yawnin' she woke and then asked where we were
When she found out, she said, "I must be goin'"
This close to Nashville was too close for her
So I stopped by the roadside and I gave her five dollars
She took it then kissed me and gave me a note
She told me just to read it and mail it Nashville
On old looseleaf paper to her mother she wrote:
Chorus
She said: Mama, I'm fine, if you happen to wonder
I don't have much money but I still get around
I haven't made church in near thirty-six Sundays
So fuck all those west Nashville grand ballroom gowns
(she's a long way from the west Nashville grand ballroom gown)
I cut my teeth on Gumbo rock, Benny Spellman and Dr. John
Sweet Erma Thomas and Frogman Henry
SIUsed to boogie woogie all night long
Though I love rock n' roll the acoustic guitar
MIWas the only way I had of becomin' a star
LAI'm doin' really nice and travellin' around
But they won't play my record in my old home town
But if I had saxophones
Yeah, big baritone cleanin' up the muddy breaks
LAIf I had saxophones
SI LAI could get some recognition from that Mobile, Alabama D.J.
Livin' by the ocean, sometimes I get the notion
To take my Janey downtown
We hang out in a funky little bar
They call it the "Shipwreck Lounge"
Well we get kind of drunk and we play rock n' roll
Grabbin' everybody right down in his soul
When we get to cookin' somethin's still wrong
There's still somethin' missin' from them good ole songs
Chorus
But if we had saxophones
Big baritone cleanin' up the muddy breaks
If we had saxophones
I could make that joint shimmy like a big California earthquake
Yeah if we had saxophones
Yeah, big baritone cleanin' up the muddy breaks
If we had saxophones
I could get some recognition from that Mobile, Alabama D.J.
"Well, like I explained to y'all before I ain't no drinkin' man.
I tried it once, and it got me highly irregular
and I swore I'd never do it again.
But I promised my brother-in-law that I'd go up and watch
his still while he went into town to vote.
It was right up on the mountain where the map said it would be.
Friends let me tell you one thing though,
it wadn't no ordinary still.
It stood up that mountainside like...
like a huge golden opal,
God's yellar moon was a' shinin' on the cool clear evenin',
God's little lanterns just a' twinklin' on and off in the heavens
and, like I explained to you once before, I ain't no drinkin' man,
But, temptation got the best of me, and I took a slash...
(wshew!... woah...)
That yellar whiskey runnin' down my throat like
honeydew vine water, and I took another slash.
Took another and another and another,
'fore you knew it I'd downed one whole jug o' that shit
and commenced to get hot flashes.
Goosepimples was runnin' up and down my body and a feelin' came
over me like, somethin' I'd never experienced before,
It's like, like I was in love,
("why don't we have a little love Mike [Utley]")
In love for the first time, with anything that moved.
Animate, in-animate it didn't matter.
It's like there's a great neon sign flashin' on and off in my
brain sayin, "Jimmy Buffett there's a great day a comin'..."
'Cause I was drunk.
Now I wadn't, uh, knee-crawlin', slip-slidin', reggy-youngin',
commode-huggin' drunk, I was God's own drunk, and a fearless man;
And that's when I first saw the bear.
He was a Kodiak lookin' fella 'bout 19 feet tall
he rambled up over the hill 'spectin' me to do one of two
things: flip or fly, I didn't do either one. It hung him up.
He starts sniffin' 'round my body tryin' to smell fear,
but he ain't gonna smell no fear, 'cause I'm God's own drunk
and a fearless man. It hung him up.
He looked me right in my eyes and my eyes was a
lot redder than his was. It hung him up.
So I approached him and I said, "Mr. Bear, I love every hair on
your 27 acre body. I know you got a lotta friends over there on
the other side of the hill. There's ole' Rear Bear, Tall Bear,
Freddy Bear, Kelly Jair, Relly Bear, Smelly the Bear, Smokey
the Bear, Pokey the Bear; I want you to go back over there
tonight and tell 'em I'm feelin' right. You tell 'em I love each
and every one of 'em like a brother and a sister; but if they
give me any trouble tonight, I'm gonna run every Goddamned one of
'em off the hill."
He took two steps backwards and didn't know what to think.
Neither did I, but, being charitable and cautious,
well hell, I approached him again.
I said, "Mr. Bear, you know in the eyes of the Lord, we're both
beasts when it comes right down to it. So I want you to be my
buddy, 'Buddy Bear.'"
So I took ole' Buddy Bear by his island sized paw
and I led him over to the still.
Now he's a' sniffin' around that thing 'cause he's smellin'
somethin' good.
I gave him one of them jugs of honeydew vine water, he downed it
upright, (looked like a big damn bear in the circus sippin'
sasparilly in the moonlight.)
I gave him another and another and another
'fore I knew it, he'd downed eight of 'em and commenced
to do the "bear dance." Two sniffs, a snort, a fly, a turn
and a grunt; and it was so simple like the jitterbug it plumb
evaded me.
And we worked ourselves into a tumultuous uproar
and I's awful tired, went over to the hillside, and I laid down,
went to sleep, slept for 4 hours, and dreamt me some tremulous dreams
And when I woke up, Oh, there was God's yellar moon a' shinin'
on the clear cool evenin'.
And God's little lanterns just a' twinklin' on and off in the heavens,
And my buddy the bear was a' missin'...
Now they make new movies in old
..black and white
With happy endings, where nobody
..fights
So if you find yourself in that
SI7..nostalgic rage
MI7 LA7Honey, jump right up and show your
..age
Chorus
I wish I had a pencil thin
SI7..mustache
MI7 LA7 REThe "Boston Blackie" kind
A two toned Ricky Ricardo
..jacket
And an autographed picture of
LA7.. Andy Devine
RE RE7
Oh I remember bein'
..buck-toothed and skinny
SOL SIbWritin' fan letters to Sky's
..niece Penny
RE FA#7Oh I wish I had a pencil thin
SI7..mustache
Then I could solve some
LA7 RE..mysteries too
Bridge:
Oh it's Bandstand, Disneyland,
MIm SI7..growin' up fast
MIm SI7 MImDrinkin' on a fake I.D.
And Rama of the jungle was
FA#m DO7..everyone's Bawana
MI7 LA7But only jazz musicians were
..smokin' marijuana
RE FA#7Yeah, I wish I had a pencil thin
..mustache
MI7 LA7then I could solve some mysteries
RE..too
(same as above chords with this
..verse)
But then it's flat top, dirty bob,
..coppin' a feel
Grubbin' on the livin' room floor
..(so sore)
Yeah, they send you off to
..college, try to gain a little
..knowledge,
But all you want to do is learn
..how to score
RE FA#7
Yeah, but now I'm gettin' old,
..don't wear underwear
MI7 LA7I don't go to church and I don't
..cut my hair
RE FA#7 SI7But I can go to movies and see it
..all there
MI7 LA7 REJust the way that it used to be
Chorus
That's why I wish I had a
..pencil thin mustache
The "Boston Blackie" kind, a
..two-toned Ricky Ricardo jacket
And an autographed picture of
..Andy Devine
Oh, I could be anyone I
..wanted to be
Maybe suave Errol Flynn or a
..Sheik of Arabie
If I only had a pencil thin
..mustache
Then I could do some cruisin'
..too
Yeah, Bryl-cream, a little
..dab'll do yah
Oh, I could do some cruisin'
RE..too
Chord diagrams: E7 - |o2o1oo|
.. A7 - |xo2o2o|
B7 - |x212o2|
.. F#7- |xx432o|
F#m - |244222| Bb - |113331|
.. C7 - |x3231o|
Note: play in G, capo 2nd fret
SOL DOHeadin' up to San Francisco
For the Labor Day week-end
..show,
I've got my hush-puppies on
..I guess I
Never was meant for glitter
SOL..rock and roll
LAm DO REAnd, honey, I didn't know,
..that I'd be missin' you so
Come Monday it'll be all
..right
DO RECome Monday I'll be holdin'
..you tight
SOL SImI spent four lonely days in a
..brown L. A. haze
DO REAnd I just want you back by
SOL..my side
Yes, it's been quite a summer
Rent-a-cars and west-bound trains
And now you're off on vacation
Somethin' you tried to explain
And darlin', it's I love you so
That's the reason I just let you
..go
(Repeat chorus)
Bridge:
I can't help it honey,
LAmaj7 REmaj7.. you're that much a part of me
..now
LAmaj7 REmaj7Remember that night in
..Montana
DO / / DOwhen we said there'd be no
/ / RE FA DO SOL..room for doubt
I hope you're enjoyin' the scen'ry
I know that it's pretty up there
We can go hikin' on Tuesday
With you I'd walk anywhere
California has worn me quite thin
I just can't wait to see you again
(Repeat chorus)
I spent four lonely days in
DO RE..a brown L. A. haze
DO REAnd I just want you back by
..my side...
Chord diagrams: Amaj7=|x02120|
.. Dmaj7=|xx0222|
Chorus
Ringling, Ringling slippin'
..away
Only forty people livin' there
..today
Streets are dusty, and the bank
..has been torn down
It's a dyin' little town
Church window's broken, that place
MI7..ain't been used in years
SOL LA7 REJail don't have a sheriff or a
..cell
And electric trains, they run by
..maybe once or twice a month
SOL LA7 REEasin' it on down to Mussel Shell
(Repeat chorus)
Bridge:
LAAnd across from the bar
..there's a pile of beer cans
REBeen there twenty seven
..years
MI7Imagine all the heartaches
LA7..and tears in 27 years of beer
So we hopped back in the
..rent-a-car and we hit the cruise
..control
Pretty soon the town was out of
..sight
But we left behind a fat barmaid,
..a cowboy and a dog
Bracin' for a Ringling Friday
..night
Chorus
Ringling, Ringling you're
..just slippin' away
I wonder how many people will
..be there a year from today
Cause the streets are dusty
..and the bank has been torn down
It's a dyin' little town
G A7 D
..(intro chords)
Yeah, it's a dyin' little
..town
SOL LAm7 RE SOL
I'd like to ride the rodeo, but
LAm7 RE..I've got brahma fear
So I'll just stick to aeroplanes,
SOL LAm7 RE.. gently pop my ears
FA DO SOL FADrink a lot of whiskey, it gives
..me such a glow
SOL LAm7 REIt makes me quite immobile, but it
LAm RE SOL..lets my feelings show
DO RE SOL
And I'm somewhere below the
..spotlight
DO RE MImSomewhere below the ground
You dig deep enough you might find
..me
Find me and you've found my sound
Yes I own a whaler boat, it slides
..across the sea
And some folks say I'm part of it
And I know it's part of me
When I'm feeling solitaire, it
..lets me be alone
And when I want to habitate, it
..carries me back home
And I'm somewhere below the
..sunlight
Somewhere upon the sea
You dig deep enough, you
..might find me
Find me, 'cause that's where
..I'll be
Yes I'll drink a lot of whiskey
It gives me such a glow
It makes me quite immobile, but it
..lest my feelings show
Yes, it makes me quite immobile,
But it lets my feelings show
Intro SOL RE SOL
Well he outgrew his sequined suit,
SOL..sold his Trailways bus
LALet his hair get a little too long
His ducktail's bit the dust
DOHis custom made, pearl-inlaid
SOL..guitar slipped from his hand
And in its place a new electrical
RE SOL RE..one he had flown in from Japan
Chorus
'Cause he's a cheeseburger
..eatin', abandoned Sunday meetin'
Brand new country star
LAHe rides around in a Lincoln
..Continental
RE SOL REThose steer horns on his car
DOOh, the record men say he's
..livin' end
They're gonna spin him right
..to the top
LAYeah he's a hot roman candle
..from the Texas panhandle
DO RE SOLHe can either go country or
..pop
Got a good old friend name of
..Texas Ben,
Tells him all the spots to play
And a sweet little lady, he calls
..her Sexy Sadie
She's with the boy night and day
They're gonna open up a chain of
..fancy bowlin' lanes
The first one in his old hometown
And on ribbon-cuttin' day they'll
..come from miles away
The folks'll all gather 'round and
..sing
(Repeat chorus)
SI7 MI SI7
Nothing is different, nothing's
MI..changed at all
Livingston's gone to Texas,
LA MI..they say he had a ball
Chorus
They say he learned to be a
..cowboy
They say he learned to rope and
RE..ride
SIm SOLBut I wonder if he ever
.. thinks about the tears his
RE..woman cried
Now Holly, won't you let me
Try and make you smile
You loved him as if he were your
..husband
Now he'll be gone awhile
Chorus
Wrote he had to see the
..country
On starry nights he wished
..you were there
And so would show wherever he
..goes
Deep inside you know he
..really cares
And nothin' is different, nothin's
..changed at all
Livingston's still in Texas
Snow's about to fall
Chord diagrams: D#m - |xx4342|
Intro SOL DO SOL SOL DO SOL
The ice cream man he's a hillbilly
..fan
He's got seventy-eights by Hank
..Snow
Walks down the street, shufflin'
..his feet
To the rhythm that only he knows
SIm DOAnd I've seen him in so many
..places
SIm FAI saw him on the night I was born
RE
In a Bourbon Street bar, I
..received my first scar
From an old man so tattered and
SOL..torn
Chorus
And the wino and I know the
..pain of street singin'
Like the door-to-door
..salesman knows the pains of bell
..ringin'
RE DOStrange situation, wild
..occupation
SOLLivin' my life like a song
The coffee is strong at the Cafe
..Du Monde
And the donuts are too hot to
..touch
But just like a fool, when those
..sweet goodies cool
I eat till I eat way too much
'Cause I'm livin' on things that
..excite me
Be they pastry or lobster or love
I'm just tryin' to get by being
..quiet and shy
In a world full of pushin' and
..shove
Chorus
And the wino and I know the
..pain of back bustin'
Like the farmer knows the
..pain of his pickup truck rustin'
Strange situation, wild
..occupation
Livin' my life like a song
RE DO
Sweet sen~orita won't you please
SOL..come with me
Back to the island honey, back to
SOL..the sea
RE DOBack to the only place that I want
..to be
And the wino and I know the
..joy of the ocean
Like a boy knows the joy of
..his milkshake in motion
Strange situation, wild
..occupation
Livin' my life like a song
Yes it's a strange situation,
..wild occupation
Livin' my life like a song
Standin' on side of the Highway 4
..exit
DO FA SOLA Lady in a tie-dye with a bag by
DO..her side
Not really lookin' like anything
..special
Saw Tennessee tags and she waved
DO..for a ride
Sat right beside me as the 'meter
..hit sixty
'Splainin' her travels and her
..family background
When she got through, I could not
..help but thinkin'
She's a long way from the west
..Nashville grand ballroom gown
Chorus
Father had money and her
RE SOL..mother had love
Channeled entirely to her
..dear sister Dove
RETwenty-two years in society's
SOL..plan
Was cancelled with a swing of
FA RE..her dear mother's hand
Six hours later, we hit Cincinatti
Yawnin' she woke and then asked
..where we were
When she found out, she said, "I
..must be goin'"
This close to Nashville was too
..close for her
So I stopped by the roadside and I
..gave her five dollars
She took it then kissed me and
..gave me a note
She told me just to read it and
..mail it Nashville
On old looseleaf paper to her
..mother she wrote:
Chorus
She said: Mama, I'm fine, if
..you happen to wonder
I don't have much money but I
..still get around
I haven't made church in near
..thirty-six Sundays
So fuck all those west
..Nashville grand ballroom gowns
(she's a long way from the
..west Nashville grand ballroom
..gown)
MI
I cut my teeth on Gumbo rock,
LA MI..Benny Spellman and Dr. John
Sweet Erma Thomas and Frogman
..Henry
Used to boogie woogie all night
..long
Though I love rock n' roll the
..acoustic guitar
Was the only way I had of becomin'
..a star
I'm doin' really nice and
..travellin' around
But they won't play my record in
LA SI..my old home town
Chorus
But if I had saxophones
Yeah, big baritone cleanin'
MI..up the muddy breaks
If I had saxophones
I could get some recognition
SI LA..from that Mobile, Alabama D.J.
Livin' by the ocean, sometimes I
..get the notion
To take my Janey downtown
We hang out in a funky little bar
They call it the "Shipwreck
..Lounge"
Well we get kind of drunk and we
..play rock n' roll
Grabbin' everybody right down in
..his soul
When we get to cookin' somethin's
..still wrong
There's still somethin' missin'
..from them good ole songs
Chorus
But if we had saxophones
Big baritone cleanin' up the
..muddy breaks
If we had saxophones
I could make that joint
..shimmy like a big California
..earthquake
Yeah if we had saxophones
Yeah, big baritone cleanin' up the
..muddy breaks
If we had saxophones
I could get some recognition from
..that Mobile, Alabama D.J.
"Well, like I explained to y'all
..before I ain't no drinkin' man.
I tried it once, and it got me
..highly irregular
and I swore I'd never do it
..again.
But I promised my brother-in-law
..that I'd go up and watch
his still while he went into
..town to vote.
It was right up on the mountain
..where the map said it would be.
Friends let me tell you one thing
..though,
it wadn't no ordinary still.
It stood up that mountainside
..like...
like a huge golden opal,
God's yellar moon was a' shinin'
..on the cool clear evenin',
God's little lanterns just a'
..twinklin' on and off in the
..heavens
and, like I explained to you once
..before, I ain't no drinkin' man,
But, temptation got the best of
..me, and I took a slash...
(wshew!... woah...)
That yellar whiskey runnin' down
..my throat like
honeydew vine water, and I took
..another slash.
Took another and another and
..another,
'fore you knew it I'd downed one
..whole jug o' that shit
and commenced to get hot
..flashes.
Goosepimples was runnin' up and
..down my body and a feelin' came
over me like, somethin' I'd
..never experienced before,
It's like, like I was in love,
("why don't we have a little love
..Mike [Utley]")
In love for the first time, with
..anything that moved.
Animate, in-animate it didn't
..matter.
It's like there's a great neon
..sign flashin' on and off in my
brain sayin, "Jimmy Buffett
..there's a great day a comin'..."
'Cause I was drunk.
Now I wadn't, uh, knee-crawlin',
..slip-slidin', reggy-youngin',
commode-huggin' drunk, I was
..God's own drunk, and a fearless
..man;
And that's when I first saw the
..bear.
He was a Kodiak lookin' fella
..'bout 19 feet tall
he rambled up over the hill
..'spectin' me to do one of two
things: flip or fly, I didn't
..do either one. It hung him up.
He starts sniffin' 'round my body
..tryin' to smell fear,
but he ain't gonna smell no
..fear, 'cause I'm God's own drunk
and a fearless man. It hung him
..up.
He looked me right in my eyes and
..my eyes was a
lot redder than his was. It hung
..him up.
So I approached him and I said,
.."Mr. Bear, I love every hair on
your 27 acre body. I know you
..got a lotta friends over there
..on
the other side of the hill.
..There's ole' Rear Bear, Tall
..Bear,
Freddy Bear, Kelly Jair, Relly
..Bear, Smelly the Bear, Smokey
the Bear, Pokey the Bear; I want
..you to go back over there
tonight and tell 'em I'm feelin'
..right. You tell 'em I love each
and every one of 'em like a
..brother and a sister; but if
..they
give me any trouble tonight, I'm
..gonna run every Goddamned one of
'em off the hill."
He took two steps backwards and
..didn't know what to think.
Neither did I, but, being
..charitable and cautious,
well hell, I approached him
..again.
I said, "Mr. Bear, you know in
..the eyes of the Lord, we're both
beasts when it comes right down
..to it. So I want you to be my
buddy, 'Buddy Bear.'"
So I took ole' Buddy Bear by his
..island sized paw
and I led him over to the still.
Now he's a' sniffin' around that
..thing 'cause he's smellin'
somethin' good.
I gave him one of them jugs of
..honeydew vine water, he downed
..it
upright, (looked like a big damn
..bear in the circus sippin'
sasparilly in the moonlight.)
I gave him another and another
..and another
'fore I knew it, he'd downed
..eight of 'em and commenced
to do the "bear dance." Two
..sniffs, a snort, a fly, a turn
and a grunt; and it was so
..simple like the jitterbug it
..plumb
evaded me.
And we worked ourselves into a
..tumultuous uproar
and I's awful tired, went over
..to the hillside, and I laid
..down,
went to sleep, slept for 4
..hours, and dreamt me some
..tremulous dreams
And when I woke up, Oh, there was
..God's yellar moon a' shinin'
on the clear cool evenin'.
And God's little lanterns just a'
..twinklin' on and off in the
..heavens,
And my buddy the bear was a'
..missin'...
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